Do You Even Know You?

How many of you actually know yourself?

Not the version of you your family shaped with their opinions and expectations.
Not the one society told you to be.
Not the polished, “perfect” version you dream about becoming someday.

I’m talking about the real Y.O.U.
The one that exists right now—in this exact moment.

What’s your favorite color (today, not ten years ago)?
Drums or flats?
Who’s the greatest artist of all time to you?
Are you selfish? Emotionally unavailable?
Do you speak your mind unapologetically, flipping two middle fingers in the air when necessary?
Or are you lighting candles, watering your plants, protecting your peace, and tapping into the kind of calm nobody can steal?

This might all sound small—but it’s not.

Here’s the truth:
If you don’t know who you are and why you are… anyone else can tell you.
And worse, you’ll believe them.

My Personal Experience

For a long time, I thought “being me” meant becoming who people told me I was supposed to be.

I wanted to be liked.
Needed to be accepted.
So I bent. Folded. Shrunk.
And every time I lost myself trying to please others, I’d run to therapy to “get better”… just to lose myself again the very next week.

It wasn’t until I sat with myself and really listened that I realized:
This anxious, approval-seeking behavior?
That wasn’t me.
That was a byproduct of forgetting that I matter, too.

Reclaiming Me

Being me now means:

• Taking my time.

• Knowing my likes and dislikes—and not feeling bad about them.

• Following that inner voice that tells me when to move, when to pause, when to dance, when to be still.

• Loving myself so much that I don’t need to shrink, compare, or tear anyone down to feel worthy.

• Learning when to care and when to keep it pushing.

• Blasting pop music as a Black woman and not giving a damn who’s judging—because in that moment, I feel free.

And that version of me? She’s soft, bold, loud, quiet, wild, and healing—all at once.

Don’t Lose You

I’ve talked to so many people—especially women—who say they don’t know who they are.
They jumped into relationships with alpha personalities that slowly shaped them into someone unrecognizable.
Years go by. The relationship ends. And they realize they don’t even remember what they love.

Here’s my advice:
Don’t forget yourself.
In or out of a relationship—remember you.

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."
That line hits different when you’re finally talking to yourself.

Your Challenge This Week

I challenge you to just be you this week.
If you’re angry—be that.
If you’re joyful, silly, deep, emotional, reserved—be that.

Take time to listen to yourself.
Meditate.
Sit in the grass.
Put your feet in the soil.
Take a breath without asking for permission.

Dismiss the pressure to be who you “should” be and start getting comfortable with who you are.
Even if you’re still figuring that out.

The universe knows when you’re pretending.
And trust me—it will always guide you back home.

So stop hiding.

Just be.
And love the hell out of it.

I see you.

And I’m so proud of who you’re becoming